“MANY PHENOMENA—wars, plagues, sudden audits—have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for Exhibit A.”
“Very few people on the face of the planet know that the very shape of the M25 forms the sigil odegra in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means “Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds.” The thousands of motorists who daily fume their way around its serpentine lengths have the same effect as water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil to pollute the metaphysical atmosphere for scores of miles around.”
if you ever feel left out just remember that you weren’t the fifth gryffindor guy in the marauders’ dormitory
I don’t know if the timeline works even a little bit but my headcanon was always that that fifth dude was Kingsley Shacklebolt and that he immediately made a conscious decision to stay the hell away from whatever those four idiots were up to and everyone was like “Yeah, good kid, studies hard, probably gonna be Minister one day if he manages to last his entire school career without committing four murders”.
Kingley Shacklebolt is probably the best roommate ever. The reason he never gets mentioned as the fifth is because he doesn’t ask questions. The other five start disappearing all night every full moon during fifth year? He doesn’t care and doesn’t want to know. Walked in to find Sirius talking to a fucking deer in the dorm like it was James? Just keep moving and don’t make eye contact. James, Sirius and Peter leaving shit all over the floor? Combine forces with Remus to politely yet firmly remind them that we’re not living in a goddamn barn and your dirty underwear shouldn’t spend three weeks straight on the floor James.
Kingsley was, naturally, invited to the Potter-Evans wedding. The invitation was accompanied with a formal apology for the Everything, signed by the Marauders. Enclosed was a little trophy, with the plaque reading ‘best roomie ever’
It may or may not permanently live on his mantle. Kingsley Shacklebolt does not inform Harry Potter of any of this. He has enough people that knew his parents, Kingsley’s not going to make it weird. Keep moving and don’t make eye contact. Besides, he already gave copies of all his pictures of them to Hagrid to go into a photo album for Harry back in first year.
“omg calling an underaged character gay or lesbian is really gross n inappropriate!! they’re a child?? no one should be projecting sexualities onto kids!”
animators:
This just in: kissing is not sex. News at 11.
Neither is gay people existing u weirdo
“Think about the wide range of activities that make up our romantic lives. When we talk about heterosexuality, we talk about that full range. But when we talk about homosexuality, we focus narrowly on the sex, and then we get this skewed picture where straight people have relationships and gay people have sex, where straight people have lives and gay people have ‘lifestyles.’ The thing is that gay people’s romantic lives, like straight people’s romantic lives, are made up of a wide range of feelings and activities and relationships.” —John Corvino
there’s nothing better than griffin mcelroy completely apathetically and deadpan doing a bit while his brothers literally choke on their breath screaming with laughter in the background
oh sorry sorry but this is FALSE—patently FALSE—information because i’m pretty sure what’s better is Justin struggling to get through what is probably not even a very good bit while his brothers shout over him and also each other in the background
“What brings me joy is… life. I think you can find joy anywhere, in life. I think it’s a conscious choice. I think you- you choose joy, in life. And no matter how bad things are, no matter how crummy, no matter how dark, no matter how many times some guy named John kills your ass– You find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, gettin’ to know ya. I’ve found joy playin’ chess with ya [laughs], I have enjoyed– I haven’t enjoyed, you know, gettin’ my– my ass killed, but I– I find joy whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart. And I don’t always do a character voice. But whatever I do, I find joy in it. Because, at the end of the day, that’s all you got, is lookin’ back on the joy you had and the joy you found and the joy you gave other people.”
blackash26 